Two Sides of the Same Sword
by Tdgat
Summary: Bella is a graduate student in New York, trying to move past her break up with Edward , who wants her back. Her quest to be free leads her down a path of revenge and into the life of Jacob, a student athlete who won't let her push him away. Will she choose? Or will they all be destroyed by the secret she's been keeping. Bella/Edward, Bella/Jacob,All Human, Non-canon
1. Don't Make Plans, Make Options

**_A/N- So, I'm completely new to writing fanfic, but definitely not to reading them. I've actually been working on this story for a while, with original characters. But, I decided to change some things and make this about Bella, Edward and Jacob. That being said, this is non-canon, and all human. Hopefully, somebody will enjoy it. It moves a little slow in the first part of this chapter, but its completely necessary so you can understand this Bella._**

**_With no further adieu, I give you my ideas about how this love triangle could have played out in real life._**

**_I do not own Twilight or any of its character; but I would love to borrow Jacob for about a month._**

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"The paradox of vengefulness is that it makes men dependent upon those who have harmed them, believing that their release from pain will come only when their tormentors suffer."  
― Laura Hillenbrand

**Chapter 1**

**Don't make plans, make options**

Looking at the building from the street, it lined the sky like the majority of architecture in New York. It was striking in a way, made up of steel and metal that glittered in the sun and beautiful double paned glass that reflected any one of the gorgeous views that surrounded it on all sides. In the right light, at the right time, it was breathtaking; seductive even with its promises of more to come, promises of what lay inside.

But deceptively so, because inside there was just as much about it that was, well, just like every other apartment building. The building had all the amenities; elevators, a pool, gym, laundry center, and a lounge. Of course it did, it had a reputation to live up to in this area of New York; Morningside. The actual apartments inside were pretty close to identical, down to the same color pallet that came standard upon occupancy. The only individuality lay within the ability of each tenant to create something different, if they chose to.

So, going up to the eighth floor and walking into the second apartment on the right, the initial observation was that this tenant was just like everybody else.

The living room was painted in neutral colors, beiges and creams. There was a sofa, small chair, end tables and a fireplace. Two pictures mounted the wall behind the sofa, looking eerily similar to something located in a doctor's office. There was nothing really special about it; it was nice, but left no lasting impression. It was generic even, reminiscent of someone who wanted to look like everyone else, who wanted to blend in.

Walking a little down the hallway on the left, there was the kitchen. The look shifted slightly; there seemed to be a point of view trying to emerge in this room, even if it was subtle. The cabinets were the faintest shade of grey, barely tinted with color. The walls were a deep shade of platinum and all the appliances were black. Every gadget in this room was state of the art, no expense spared. But, it looked like it was hardly ever used. Oh, the items, appliances and setup indicated that the owner knew what they were doing in the kitchen, but this area seemed mournfully neglected. Whoever lived here could handle the complicated delicacies of cooking, but didn't have the time to.

And while this room screamed sleek and sophisticated, there was still something missing. The picture presenting itself so far of this tenant seemed incomplete and purposefully misleading.

Then, at the end of the hallway, there was the bedroom. Since it was the only closed door in the apartment, it was obvious that no one was allowed here, period.

Walking through the beige door leading to the bedroom, it was instantly apparent that this room had something to say, this room had a point of view. The oak bedroom furniture was subtle, not too fancy; but modern enough to work. The bed was queen sized, set up directly in the middle of the room against the back wall, almost as if it were the heart and pulse of its surroundings. Money had been no limit when buying the linen for it, wanting this piece to be beautifully decorated with luxurious fabrics and over-sized pillows. It was the first thing your eyes were drawn to when the bedroom door opened.

A small reading area had been created in the corner, on the opposite wall from the bed; which simply included a red armchair, a small table and a floor lamp. Even to the untrained eye it was obvious that this reading area was used very often. The entire room had been painstakingly decorated in dark browns, gold and red; crimson to be exact. Sometimes, at certain times of the day, the room would look like it was actually on fire. It suggested an occupant that was warm and comforting if you were allowed in, but also fiery and passionate at the same time.

The contrast between this private space and the rest of the apartment was intriguing. There was no doubt that getting past all the layers to find _**this**_ person would be a hell of a ride and totally worth it. Funny thing is, the actual tenant of this apartment couldn't have disagreed more with that statement right now.

Because to her, it was official. Her life was boring, she was boring.

Isabella Swan let out an exasperated sigh as she looked around her bedroom. She had always liked it in here, it was quiet, warm but efficient, cozy; it was her. But lately, it was… boring. It didn't speak to her soul anymore, didn't renew her and refresh her after the daily grind that was life. She had created this room for that purpose, a type of sanctuary; a place where she could be safe and inspired, all at the same time.

She had poured every ounce of herself into the adornment of this room. And she had been proud of the final effect. Now she felt like she had created a dungeon, her own personal torture chamber full of misery and boredom. Not even her special corner had provided much comfort lately. She loved to read, loved a good book where she could get lost in it all. She often fell asleep in this corner after reading, wrapped underneath her favorite blanket.

But, there was no escaping this, no getting lost from this. She realized that she was letting her feelings cause her to second guess her choices again. That had been happening quite frequently lately.

"Sigh."

She hadn't always been this way; at least she didn't remember being this way all the time. Truth be told, she had been different for a while now, especially since he had walked away and left her picking up the pieces. Bella's thoughts involuntarily flickered towards him and she shook her head to try and clear them out. She couldn't go back to that place, she was over that, over him and he didn't deserve one more ounce of her concentration. But, Bella couldn't deny that he had it.

The natural light coming from the large window on the back wall inside her bedroom was gradually fading, silently retreating across the wooden floor. The hour was growing later. It was Saturday and if she was going out tonight, she needed to get ready.

"What's the point?" Bella mumbled to herself.

Most of her friends had become increasingly shallow and desperate, trying to find someone before graduation. The guys they picked up always turned out to be losers, something she usually tried to tell them before they gave in. But, according to her friends, she wasn't serious enough about the dating game to be allowed to give advice. Well, she did have some advice alright…get a damn cat. That way when they were ignored or the guy walked away, it wouldn't be so much of a surprise.

That settled it, she wasn't going. Bella was finishing up a Dual Master's Degree in International Affairs and Business Administration at Columbia University. This was her last weekend of freedom before classes began on Monday. She decided that she wasn't going to spend it being miserable and bored out of her mind at a club. Those places were always filled with a bunch of guys who were looking for a quick thrill or somebody to take care of them.

Bella laughed out loud; she could be miserable and boring all by her damn self. She didn't need any help with that. Leah was going to be pissed that she wasn't coming, a thought that almost made her rethink staying behind. Bella loved Leah like a sister; but even that wasn't enough to force her to the club this time.

"The others will keep Leah busy; I'll deal with her tantrum in the morning."

Bella tried to decide what she was going to do the rest of the night, which was making her head hurt. Being a 25 yr old, single student with the world ahead, left her with tons of options.

Again, she laughed out loud. Who the hell was she kidding? "Options, what options?" Bella muttered. She was doubting herself again.

She turned her IPod on and hit the symbol with the two arrows crossing over each other; Bella loved music because it always had this way of complementing her mood or changing that mood if she needed to. Today would be no different. She needed to get her mind on other things.

As she was looking through her closet, she heard the soft tinkling noise of the piano keys start to play. At first, she was so focused on trying to decide her next move that she hadn't really been listening to the song. And as she evaluated the best combinations of attire for the evening that her wardrobe could provide, she froze. That haunting melody, the one she had played over and over when they broke up, was on.

"Of course," Bella whispered.

"_Cause I can't make you love me if you don't, _

_You can't make your heart feel, something it won't"_

"Dammit! I shouldn't have hit the shuffle option," she grumbled under her breath. Walking across the room quickly, she turned it off. She couldn't afford to let her emotions catch up with the thoughts that those words had put into her mind. She couldn't, it was too painful, too recent still, too real. "Breathe, take a deep breath, breathe." She had to literally command her body to cooperate. It was fighting against her, wanting to release the pain and heartache she had been holding onto for the last three months.

Bella had not really allowed herself to fully process the pain and hurt from their break up. Instead, she had let it fester, slowly seeping into her mind and heart a little at a time. It was never completely crippling. No, even the grief he caused her wasn't sympathetic to her needs. It waited for her day after day over the last couple of months, reminding her of what had been; instead of overcoming her one good time and moving on.

"Has it really been that long?" Bella asked herself out loud. She stood still. The realization of the question and its answer shook her to her core. Her life had come to a slow, painful crawl because of this? She had let someone else have enough power over her life and her heart, that it had changed her? What did that say about her future, if she wouldn't let go of her past? How could she be ready for anything else, if she couldn't deal with this?

"What the hell?"

Bella was no stranger to grief and loss. Her mother had died over ten years ago, becoming suddenly ill on a business trip with Bella's father. They had flown back and admitted her to the hospital where she had suffered for days, lingering on the brink of death, before she had finally succumbed to the pain. She had taken a piece of Bella with her, when she died. Bella had been devastated, of course.

There were so many unanswered questions at the time about what had actually happened and no one seemed to know what to tell her. Even more crippling was that Bella was a 14 yr old teenage girl, right in the middle of puberty, dating and insecurity when she lost her mother; it had been extremely difficult to get over it all.

But, she had moved forward from that tremendous loss and now, she was stuck? Stuck over a man who had, who had… Bella couldn't bring herself to complete that thought. She may have been ready to remember who she was, but she wasn't ready to remember who she had thought he was and what he had done. And she knew within herself that it was a problem. She had to figure out the entire plan to work through this, and fast. Closing her eyes, she whispered the last thing that she had said to him.

"_You'll be back. Count on it."_

And Bella _**was **_counting on that fact, simply because, well, it was a fact. As she thought back on all the relationships she had ever been in, they had always tried to come back. _**Always.**_

And she was going to make him pay for it, when he did.

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**_A/N- so if you like it, don't like, not sure... please review. I'm a big girl, I can take it. Thanks _**


	2. We are rarely proud when we are alone

**_A/N- Okay, sooo a few of you are actually reading this. Yay! But you didn't feel moved enough to leave a review, which makes me sad. Well, I'm posting the next chapter in the hopes that someone will feel generous and leave some kind of review. Sigh...  
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**_Well, lets continue on our journey and find out a little more about this Bella and what makes her tick.  
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_**Of course, I do not own Twilight or any of its characters. Just using them for a little while.**  
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**Chapter 2**

**We are rarely proud when we are alone.**

Her cell phone rang and she decided, without even looking at the screen, that it was probably Leah. Bella knew the others had realized by now that going to the club was not happening; now Leah was doing her duty as the concerned best friend to talk her into coming. Ignoring the call, Bella chuckled. Leah's convincing would contain phrases like "fuck Edward", "I'll punch him for you if we see him", and "you're too good for him anyway." She was a great friend, but she was wrong.

That was part of the problem; she wasn't too good for him. Make no mistake, Bella was a catch and she knew it. But they had balanced each other, and they had both needed that balance when they met.

Bella stopped herself. This wasn't the time for another mental workout about why things had happened the way they did with Edward. It _**had**_ happened, and it was time for her to move forward. She needed to focus right now, or she was going to be stuck in here another weekend.

Glancing at the wardrobe in her closet, she couldn't decide who she wanted to be tonight. However, Bella did know that she wanted to be invisible. She didn't want anyone she was even remotely acquainted with to notice her. She knew what she needed to wear to accomplish that.

She grabbed a black cotton knit shirt with ¾ sleeves. It was simple, hugged her in all the right spots thanks to the ruching detail on the sides, and had one silver zipper across the left shoulder blade. She went to the dresser, pulled out a pair of black skinny jeans and then decided that a pair of black boots would be perfect to complete the look. The boots had a small wedge on the bottom and came up to her calf, but were comfortable enough for her to walk around in for hours.

Bella was 5' 2", so she always wore heels. Tonight would be no exception, even if she wasn't looking for attention. Since it was late August, the weather in New York was pretty nice. It was usually warm, even at night, so she wouldn't need a jacket.

As she laid everything out and prepared to take a shower, her cell phone rang again. "Man, Leah is really persistent tonight," she said to herself. Bella wasn't in the mood to talk to her; she didn't want to have to explain. Persistent was the perfect word to describe Leah, she never took no for an answer. Well, almost never. Bella reached down to push the ignore button and realized that it wasn't Leah calling at all. It was her father.

She grabbed the phone quickly and pushed the talk button. "Hi Dad, sorry it took me so long to pick up. I thought it was someone else calling. What's up?"

"Bella, I was just thinking about you. I know classes start on Monday and I just wanted to call and check on you. You okay?" her dad asked. Charlie Swan had a pretty good idea of who his daughter might be trying to avoid, but he didn't bring it up. If Bella wanted to talk to him about something, she would.

"I'm fine, Dad. Getting ready to head out and clear my head a little bit. How are you, are you getting enough rest? Are you eating the right stuff? Getting your exercise?" She was rolling out so many questions; he didn't have enough time to answer any of them before she was asking more.

"Slow down, slow down, sweetie. I get it, you're worried about me," he chuckled. "Well, you can stop all that; your old man is doing great. I just wanted to check on my little girl."

Bella sighed; she did worry about her dad… all the time. It had caused her so much conflict to leave him and come to school so far from home, but it was necessary. Completely necessary. Still, it was nice to hear that he was doing well.

"Dad, I'm glad. I can't help but worry about you, you know how I am. And you better not be lying to me about your diet and exercise or I'm going to drag you with me to workout when I come home," Bella said, smiling to herself. Truth be told, she knew her dad was eating right and exercising. She had gotten her habits from him and he always took great care of his body. It was his "instrument" as he had called it, all her life, so he kept it well tuned.

"Well, I'm going to hold you to that when you come home to visit. Enjoy yourself this weekend. You deserve it."

"Thanks, that means a lot coming from you," Bella said. "Dad, can I talk to you about something before you go?" she asked. She thought back to her conclusions earlier about how much this situation had affected her. She needed to talk to her father about it; he could help her work through some of this. He had always been her voice of reason, when things didn't make sense to her.

"Of course, sweetie. You know you can always come to me about anything. What's on your mind?" Charlie asked.

He had expected Bella to come to him eventually. He had seen the difference in her after her break up with Edward and naturally, he had been concerned. But, he knew his daughter, knew how her mind worked. He understood that she had to process some things on her own and then she would come to him, if she needed to.

"Dad, I haven't been myself. I've been miserable. I…I never expected to fall for him so hard and I never expected him to hurt me so much. I'm getting through it dad. I promise. But, I'm worried."

He breathed an inward sigh of relief. The fact that she was even able to admit how much Edward had hurt her meant she was headed in the right direction. Now, he just had to convince her, help her see that this situation hadn't damaged her as much as she probably thought.

"Bella, I know this is hard for you and I didn't want to push you until you were ready. It's ok that you are hurting, sweetie. It's a part of life that happens to everyone at some point and I know it sucks. But, what's important is that you are ready to let it go and move forward."

Bella listened to her dad, grateful for his words of support and that he wasn't trying to berate her for closing her self off for the last three months. She remembered how he had mourned for her mother, remembered how it had affected him to lose the love of his life.

But, he had never stopped being there for Bella, even in the midst of his own debilitating sorrow. It was one of the reasons why she knew that she could always count on him; because even when he needed support for himself, he had selflessly given all that he had to Bella. She could trust his words of assurance, he had never steered her wrong.

"Thanks dad. You're right. I was just worried that because this had affected me so much, I wouldn't be ready when its time," Bella spoke softly. She was trying not to let her voice betray to her father how much she really doubted herself right now.

"Bella, I assure you. When your time comes, you'll be ready. You've worked so hard, you won't allow yourself to be unprepared. Don't worry sweetie, cause I'm not."

Bella didn't know what else to say. His faith in her was enough, for now. She _was_ ready to move forward, but she didn't have the heart to tell him that she **was not** going to just let this go. Not a chance. She began to muster a response, when her dad interrupted her.

"Bella, you should finish getting ready, but before you go, I want you to know that I'm proud of you. And your mother would be proud of you too. Good night sweetie and I love you."

Her voice caught in her throat at the mention of her mother. "Good… Good night Dad. I love you too," she said hanging up the phone.

Her eyes watered as she thought about what her father had just said. _Your mother would be proud of you too._ She missed her mother, and even so many years after her death, talking about her still brought so many strong emotions to the surface.

That had been a tough year, she thought to herself. So much had happened, in such a short time, that she had felt it impossible to make it through at the time. Her dad's strength and her unwavering decision to be there for him had gotten them both through. And, of course, it had made them even closer.

"So many emotions today, so many feelings," she mumbled to myself. It was getting late, and she definitely needed to get out now. The pain in the air was almost stifling. She decided that she would get dressed and head to the Pastry Shop.

It would be fairly quiet there, free from the boisterous noise of incoming freshmen and people pretending to work on their laptops. The bakery had no internet connection, it was so old school. And Bella loved it. She could read to her hearts content while sitting outside on the Shop's patio and then, do a little people watching. Yeah, that sounded like a plan to her.

And as her cell phone rang again, she strode into the bathroom to shower and get ready.

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**_A/N- It only gets better from here, I promise. Trying to lay a foundation because its important to what happens in the future and Bella's secret. Please, please, please let me know what you think. Thanks!_**


	3. Don't kill the messenger

**_A/N- So, a few of you are reading... Great! If I could just convince you to leave a review. I must give a special shout out to _AmeryMarie _for leaving my first review. Yay! I am so grateful for the feedback.  
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**_So, let's continue on our journey and see where Bella takes us.  
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**_As usual, I do not own Twilight or any of its characters. If I did, I would have given everyone their HEA... a real one._  
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**Chapter 3**

**Don't kill the messenger**

Bella took one last glance into the mirror as she prepared to head out. She was never one to wear a lot of makeup in the first place, so the eyeliner and light lipstick she had applied looked fine to her. Even if it wasn't fine, she was trying to be invisible, not America's Next Top Model.

Running her fingers through her hair, finger combing her bangs, she was set. Bella chuckled to herself about the bangs. She had been a little reluctant to get them when she had gone to the salon, but Leah had pushed her saying that "a woman always looks sassy with bangs." And that had given her the kick in the right direction.

The last thing she wanted was to look like a little girl; sassy she could handle. If the truth be told, Bella was a little more than just sassy. Edward had always said it perfectly, "_I like my Bella with a daily side order of smart ass_."

"Sigh… I would be the happiest woman in the world, if I never have to read, hear, or say that name again… ever."

Bella grabbed her things and placed the cell phone in her purse, when she remembered the call she had missed before the shower. Glancing down at the screen, she was surprised to see that she had missed not one, but three calls; the last one had been from Leah, but the first two had been from Edward.

"Damn. Okay, maybe I was wishing for too much when I said the world. How about the happiest woman in New York?" Bella grumbled.

She had no intention what so ever to answer any of his calls. She didn't want to talk to him, not right now, even if she couldn't stop thinking about him. And why was he calling her anyway? They had not spoken to each other since their break up. A clean break, he had called it.

What kind of game was he playing now? She shook her head, it didn't matter. She wasn't calling him back. Bella refused to give Edward the satisfaction of even knowing how much he had hurt her. Besides, this wasn't going to work if she was the one running back to him.

She headed out the door and down the elevator. It was about a 20 minute walk from her place, but it was early enough and the weather was nice. So, Bella didn't mind. She figured she could just call a cab to get home.

As she headed around the corner, a hand grabbed her arm. Bella's natural instincts to protect herself kicked in and she whirled around to confront whoever had decided to invade her personal space. She would have recognized that face anywhere.

"Leah! What the hell were you thinking! I could have hurt you," Bella yelled.

Leah laughed like she had just heard the funniest joke ever, except Bella wasn't joking. She could have seriously hurt Leah if she hadn't realized who was there so quickly. To say that Bella had taken on some of her dad's habits, was stating it lightly.

Before her father married, he was in the United States Army. He had enlisted right out of high school and moved up in rank very quickly. Some people are just born fighters, and that was her dad. Combat training, martial arts, marksmanship, weaponry, conflict resolution; you name it, he tried it. He had loved every minute of training to kick ass for the sake of his country; until he met Bella's mother. And then, like life often does, everything changed.

He became a family man, a provider and nothing was more important to him than the two women in his life. Her dad had made it his personal mission to teach her everything he knew after her mom died when she was 14. Ten years was a long time to learn self defense, and Bella could do it well. She just wished she had defended her heart better.

"Leah, cut the crap! What are you doing here? If this is some last minute scheme to convince me to go out, you are wasting your time."

Leah eyed Bella, looking at her friend from head to toe, carefully scrutinizing her outfit and the look in her eyes. "Oh, I know this look. Who are you hiding from tonight?" Leah asked.

Bella couldn't help the small smile that crept to her face. Her friend knew her and knew her well. If Bella was dressed in black from head to toe, she was trying not to be seen.

Over the years, she had developed this uncanny ability to blend into her surroundings. She was generally a quiet person, so learning how to literally disappear in any kind of environment wasn't a stretch for her. If Bella didn't want to be seen, you can count on the fact that she wouldn't be. This thought led her back to her surprise visit this evening.

"Leah, seriously, why are you here? How did you know I was heading out?" Bella asked.

Leah wondered when Bella was ever going to really understand that they knew each other like family. Leah knew even before it was suggested that Bella would not be going to the club tonight; that Bella would want to wander off somewhere to be alone. But, Leah had news that couldn't wait, not tonight.

"Bella, Edward's in town. He's here and… I think he's looking for you." Leah had spoken this in a voice barely above a whisper. "I was trying to catch you before you did your usual disappearing act."

Leah watched her friend to gauge her reaction to the only news that could possibly cause such an unannounced visit. Bella stiffened, her eyes widened for the briefest of seconds, and she let out a small collective breath of air. Choosing her words very carefully, Bella had to ask Leah how she had gotten this bit of information.

"Leah, how do you know this? How do you know Edward's here and how would you know he was looking for me?" Bella questioned. Sensing her friend's hesitancy to answer, Bella pushed further. "What is it that you're not telling me?"

Leah knew she needed to come clean to Bella about the information she had, but this had to be done the right way. Bella was quiet but her fury could be blinding. Sometimes, you just had to know how to tiptoe around Bella with certain subjects.

And this subject, the subject of Edward Cullen, needed to be handled like walking through a mine field.

"Bella, I tried to call you earlier but you didn't answer. This was too important to leave in a voicemail, so I just came over," Leah explained.

Bella didn't miss a beat. She didn't want an explanation about Leah's visit, she wanted answers. "Leah, you didn't answer my questions, none of them. I'm waiting," she demanded with her arms folded across her chest.

"I know he's in town because he called me, Bella. And, just like you did, I didn't answer his calls. So, he showed up at my place asking all these questions about you and wanting to know how you were doing." Leah had spoken quietly but swiftly.

"Wait, wait… he calls and shows up, after three months of no contact and just wants to know how I'm doing? What kind of sense does that make?" Bella asked out loud.

It didn't make any sense to Bella, at all. Edward had been very clear to her during their last conversation; further contact had not been part of the future for them. He had even moved back to Chicago with his parents. And when Edward said something, he meant it.

Edward showing up at Leah's place now, calling now, meant something had changed and Bella didn't know if she wanted to find out what it was. "What else did he say? I know you're not telling me everything!" Bella snapped at Leah. "Spill it!"

Leah sighed. She knew her friend was agitated and that did not bode well for the remainder of the conversation they needed to have. Leah was just going to have to take her friend's anger. Bella had to hear everything.

"Bella, he… he said that he missed you and that he needed to talk to you. And I believe him; I think he's telling the truth." Leah said. "I think you should call him back and hear him out."

Bella took a staggering step backward. After everything that she had shared with Leah about Edward, how could that be the advice given. Leah knew how much Edward had hurt Bella, knew how hard it had been to move forward; and yet, here she was telling Bella to talk to him.

Bella was instantly furious. She snapped her eyes closed and took a deep breath, trying to calm down. "What do you mean that I should talk to him? Have you lost your mind? Are you kidding me? You know how I feel right now, you know what I've been through because of him and you want me to talk to him!" Bella's voice had escalated with each question until the last one had practically come out as a small scream.

This was not going well. Leah was running out of time. She had to warn her, had to tell her everything quickly or she would be too late. "Bella, just listen to me!" she yelled. Leah knew she would have to pay for that later, but it could not be helped. "You need to hear everything and you need to hear it now!"

"Edward showed up at my place and he was begging me for information about you. He kept saying that he had to talk to you but you wouldn't answer his calls. I tried to explain to him that you had moved on and that you didn't want to hear from him, but he wouldn't listen. He looked so sad, Bella. He looked so broken." Leah paused. Bella's eyes had closed again during this part of the conversation.

Taking a deep breath, Leah continued.

"Bella, Edward was a mess when I saw him today. He paced around my living room for almost an hour trying to convince me to help him. I've never seen him like that. He kept saying that he had made a mistake and that he needed to fix it. He had your bracelet, Bella. The one that he gave you for Christmas last year, with the engraving on it. The one you gave him back when you broke up. He still has it and he said…he said…"

Leah needed to continue but what was coming next was going to hurt Bella. She knew it was.

"I said that I loved you Isabella. And I do, I still do. I never stopped loving you," a voice from behind Leah spoke quietly.

Bella opened her eyes; she had to see for herself where that voice had come from. And standing directly behind Leah, was Edward.

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**_A/N- It will continue to pick up from here, a lot to get to, a lot to find out. I don't want to beg for reviews, but... I'm begging, lol. The feedback helps.. a lot. Besides, reviews are like Lays potato chips... you can't have just one. Thanks for reading._**


	4. Sometimes you can't let go of the past,

**_A/N- Well, I haven't given up yet! So for those of you who are still reading, thank you very much. Thank you again AmeryMarie for your review. You make me sparkle like Edward when I see those. Well, this chapter you get to see a little of where Bella's mind is regarding Edward and how they met. Remember, Bella is OOC in this fic. So, her reaction to Edward is a little...different. Hope you enjoy, Happy 4th of July and thanks for reading._  
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**_I do not own Twilight or any of its character. If I did, I could afford a long trip to Portugal instead of dreaming about it.  
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**Chapter 4**

**Sometimes you can't let go of the past, without facing it again.**

She was dreaming or hallucinating, because there was no way that Edward was standing in front of her right now. There was no way he was standing here telling her that he loved her, Bella thought. She felt like she was in the damn Twilight Zone.

Three hours ago, she was trying to figure out her plans for the night. Now the reason for the pain in her life the last few months, was standing right in front of her proclaiming his love for her? She didn't believe it was true, not at all. Where were all these words of love and devotion when she was crying her eyes out? Please, she wasn't buying it.

There was one thing that was true though. She had to agree with what Leah had said earlier about how Edward looked. He did, indeed, look broken, so different from the man she remembered.

Edward was 6' 2", lean with a runner's build; muscular, but toned. His facial features were perfectly angular, with high cheekbones, a strong jaw line, and full lips. Those lips of his curved into **her** smile when he was happy, her favorite crooked smile that could stop traffic on a cloudy day. It was part of his charm, part of what made him so irresistible to people. His tousled hair was bronze colored, and his eyes were light brown, almost golden at times. Everything about his appearance was warm and inviting.

But now, this same man looked closed off, defeated even. Even for his frame, it appeared that he had lost weight and his eyes were missing their usual warmth. There was no smile now, no light, and no sparkle. He was literally a shadow of himself. But, she wasn't going to admit that to his face. She refused to acknowledge his apparent pain when he had done such a good job of ignoring hers.

She looked between Leah and Edward and suddenly a thought occurred to her; a thought that had her blood boiling. "Wait a minute! Did… did you two plan this? Did he ask you to come here and stall me, so he could come over and plead his case? Tell me that isn't true Leah! Tell me that you're not helping him!" Bella was clenching her fists, trying to calm herself as she looked at her friend's face, looked into her eyes. Leah's face gave it away.

"I can't fucking believe this," Bella whispered. She whipped her head around to look at Edward again. "And you, you had the nerve to go to _her_ and ask for help, beg _her_ for anything, when _I'm_ the one you should be begging? You went to _her_, after you were the one that said _we_ shouldn't contact each other? Who do you think you are? Since when do you get to make the rules and then change them when you want to?"

Bella was practically seething now, the anger rolling off her in waves. She could see that Edward actually thought he was supposed to answer those questions; that he actually thought he had a right to speak to her right now. Bella held up her hand to stop whatever pointless explanation he had been preparing to give her.

"Both of you can go to Hell. I have somewhere I'm supposed to be and it would be in your best interests, both of you, not to follow me." Bella held her head up and pushed through the two of them, as they stood there, speechless.

She didn't care. How dare they conspire against her to take her choice away, she thought to herself. She would decide when she was ready to talk to Edward, no one else. She knew that Leah meant well, but that was part of the problem. She _was_ too damn persistent. Leah didn't know how to stay out of stuff, especially if she thought her opinion was right.

"Damn them both," Bella muttered under her breath.

She continued up the sidewalk, quickening her pace just in case either Edward or Leah was stupid enough to try and follow her right now. She needed to get as far away from the two of them as possible, and fast. Bella briefly contemplated heading towards Morningside Park. She loved it there, loved walking the trail around the little man made lake. But, it would be late soon and she didn't want to be there after dark, not by herself. She continued to her original destination, the Pastry Shop, glancing behind her every once in a while.

When she found herself outside the front door of the shop, she was surprised that she had arrived there so quickly. It had probably been the quickest twenty minutes of her life. Bella scanned the inside of the shop, looked around the tables on the patio, and looked down the street behind her. She breathed a heavy sigh of relief; she had not been followed.

After ordering a cup of coffee and a chocolate chip cookie, she settled herself at one of the little tables on the patio, which was outside at the front of the shop. Most of the customers were inside, leaving only one other table occupied on the patio. That was fine with her, there was less possibility of running into someone she knew and it made it easier for her to keep an eye on the customers. She didn't want any surprises from Edward or Leah.

She relaxed just a little bit when no one seemed to recognize her. In fact, hardly anyone had looked up when she came into the shop. _Good_, she thought. It seemed that she was going to be able to get away from the drama of earlier and disappear here. A small smile came to her lips. She needed this time to think.

Bella pulled out the book she had brought with her, her worn, raggedy copy of _The Count of Monte Cristo._ She couldn't begin to remember how many times she had read this book over and over since it had been one of the assigned readings in her high school literature class. It was one of her favorites, even before it transformed into something greater for her these last three months. It had become sort of… a blueprint. A master plan of how to make sure that he felt what she had felt when he left her; when he walked away like the two years they had shared meant absolutely nothing to him. When he had truly made her shake with regret about breaking one of her biggest rules; nobody gets in, nobody. Thoughts of their first encounter ran through her mind.

* * *

**_Flashback_**

_It was Bella's last scouting trip. She had narrowed down her choices to Stanford, Duke and Columbia. She really enjoyed North Carolina; it was the kind of place she could have seen herself raising a family, putting down some roots in the very distant future. But, she had been in North Carolina for the last three years at UNC-Chapel Hill and she was ready to relocate. She never stayed anywhere long. So, as much as she would have loved to torture everyone by becoming a Blue Devil after she had been a Tarheel, she was heading to another part of the country._

_ She had already visited Stanford, it was… California. That was pretty much how she had summed it up to her dad. He had laughed at her and admonished her to keep an open mind. She didn't have any problems with California, but she wasn't sure if she could stay there for two or three years. So that had left her with Columbia. She was excited about going to New York, vaguely remembering shopping trips there with her mother. She was looking forward to seeing the city from a more adult view and let loose for a little. _

_He had been a part of the group who pitched the school to prospective graduate students. She hadn't really paid him much attention at the time, everything about him had initially screamed arrogant. And she didn't do arrogant at all, no matter how attractive he was. He tried to make it come off as charming and perhaps to other women that might have been the case. But with Bella, she wasn't fooled or charmed at all. She pretended to listen to him and the others when they went on and on about themselves and Columbia. She would make up her own mind, thank you very much. _

_So after several tours and meetings, some genius had suggested that they go to the newest club to blow off a little steam and to give everyone a glimpse of the New York night life. Bella had gone, because she didn't want to be the only party pooper out of the group of twenty-five. She had dressed in a black Asymmetrical one-shoulder dress with a wide waistband and all-over draping. It was form fitting, leaving very little to the imagination about her curves and she had complemented the look with a pair of 3-inch black heels and a simple black clutch. It didn't escape her attention the number of stares and whistles she had gotten from the group when they headed out. However, Edward had been unusually silent, but she had dismissed it at the time. _

_When they arrived at the club she had laughed out loud at the name, The Velvet Rope. Sounded like a damn strip club to her, and that had almost sent her back to the hotel. But, she had agreed to go, so she would just stick it out. _

_As the night wore on, she had endured the usual random comments and idiotic pick up lines from different men. While she could have been flattered by the attention, she was focused and never lost sight of her purpose that weekend. She was __**not**__ looking for a date, at all. She was looking for the next step on her path, that's it. She had decided to give it thirty more minutes before she headed back, when Edward had approached her at the bar. _

_Surprised, she had chatted and laughed with him, at first, thinking he was just making conversation. When he had offered to buy her a drink, she had accepted but her inner alarm began to sound. He was hitting on her but he was trying to be subtle about it. They chatted some more and Bella was getting ready to excuse herself when he had bent down and whispered in her ear. He wanted to see her after they left the club, wanted to spend some time with her at the hotel. _

_She had taken a step back from him, looked him up and down, and then bit her bottom lip. Bella had let her fingers lightly graze the outside of his mouth, leaned in really close to his cheek and whispered, "You're drooling." She had laughed to herself, thanked him for the drink, and walked away into the crowd. She knew he had stood there, watching her until she walked out of the building. The next morning at the brunch that signified the close of the weekend, he had looked at her from across the room, winked, and then given her __**that**__ smile._

* * *

And that had been the beginning of her roller coaster ride with Edward Cullen. A ride that she had never wanted to get on, that she had allowed herself to be pulled onto after months of persuasion, and that she had been kicked off of once she had gotten comfortable and familiar with the twists and turns. She had been a fool to completely trust him, to trust his intentions and to trust him with her heart. She guessed it was true what they said about a fool in love. But, she was going to fix this, make it right. She looked down at the book in her hands, running her fingertips up and down the cover. Oh, she needed a blueprint alright. She had a few twists and turns of her own ahead. And Edward was getting on this ride, whether he knew it or not.

* * *

**_A/N- Hope that gives you a few more clues about Bella and what she's got going on. Next chapter you'll hear more from Leah and Edward. Thanks again for reading and if you are... yes, I am officially begging for reviews. Just want to hear what you think. Thanks again._**


	5. The enemy of my enemy is my friend

_**A/N- So I know I updated yesterday, but I was so excited to receive 2 reviews for the last chapter. I couldn't help myself. So whoever you are anonymous person, thank you. And thank you again **_**AmeryMarie**_** for sticking with me, and the words of encouragement. They mean a lot.  
**_

_**Ok, so another chapter with information about why Bella is so messed up and angry. And... you finally get to hear a little bit from Edward. For those people who are reading this, sorry for the flashbacks, but they're essential to this story. A lot of what has happened between Bella and Edward is in the past. But you have to know about that past. Didn't you read the title of my last chapter, lol?  
**_

**_Of course, I do not own Twilight or any of its characters. I don't.. promise._  
**

* * *

**Chapter 5**

**The enemy of my enemy is my friend**

Leah stood on the sidewalk looking at Edward. His head was bowed, his shoulders slumped, and his eyes were closed. She shook her head, Bella had been right to be angry with her. Bella's struggle with the demise of her relationship with Edward, her struggle with _**another**_ loss of someone she had loved, had been displayed in front of Leah. And Leah had done all she could to help Bella through it, even if that help had seemed ineffective most of the time.

Hell, Leah had been Edward's biggest critic after she found out what had really happened. A bigger critic actually, as Leah had never been that fond of Edward to begin with. Leah could see Bella's point now, how could she have helped Edward after all that had happened? Even thinking about it now, still sent shivers down her spine.

Leah remembered the night three months ago when she had gone to Bella's house and found her curled up in a ball, sobbing uncontrollably in the chair she loved so much in the bedroom. It had unnerved her at first, seeing Bella that way.

In all the years that she had known Bella, she had _never _seen Bella lose control of herself in that way, never. So, Leah had known immediately that whatever had transpired that night was something big, and she hadn't been sure if she even wanted to know.

* * *

_**Flashback**_

_Going into the apartment, Leah heard Bella before she found her. But even as she walked down the hallway to the bedroom; she knew where she was going to find Bella. That girl practically lived in that one corner of the bedroom, "her sanctuary" she had called it. Leah took a deep breath. She needed to get her thoughts together before she went in to talk to Bella. Her friend needed her, apparently like she's never needed her before._

_Leah remembered the call she had gotten a little earlier from Bella. Seeing Bella's name flashing on her cell, Leah had answered and had almost hung up thinking it was an inadvertent call from her friend, because Bella hadn't said one word. But as Leah prepared to close the phone, she had heard it; the sobbing, the hiccups between each intake of air, the despair. Something was wrong._

_ All Leah heard was the noises getting louder and louder, the breaths in between each sob becoming shorter and shorter. It sounded like a panic attack. Leah had called Bella's name over and over again, begged her to say something, tell her what was wrong. More sobbing and even less breathing continued for what had seemed like hours and then it had stopped. _

_Leah had been so afraid then, when there had been no sounds at all. She had opened her mouth to yell Bella's name when she heard something on the other line, the smallest of sounds, the faintest of a whisper that included one word. "Please." _

_And then the line had gone dead. _

_That was all Leah had needed to hear and she had raced to Bella's place, thankful for the extra key she had blackmailed Bella into giving her. Walking into the bedroom and looking toward that corner, Leah had been completely unprepared for the sight in front of her. _

_Bella was shaking; eyes closed and hair hanging down clinging to her cheeks from the tears that had soaked the ends. Her knees were drawn up to her chest and she was rubbing her right hand around her left wrist in a repetitive motion. Bella was inconsolable; covered in her favorite robe, she looked like a hurt little girl. _

_Leah had been frozen to her spot in the doorway._

_Shaking herself, Leah took a step towards Bella, waiting for her friend to register notice of her presence. Bella had looked up only briefly and whispered "Edward's gone," before bowing her head again and continuing her sobs. _

_Leah had rushed over and cradled Bella in her arms, trying to comfort her with nods and soothing words, rubbing her arms and moving the hair out of Bella's face. She had eventually helped Bella to calm down enough to lie down in the bed, as the sobs changed to small moans and whimpers. Leah's initial thought had been that something terrible had happened to Edward, a thought that had her teary eyed as well. But as she had quietly spoken to Bella that she was going to the kitchen to get some tea, Bella had grabbed her hand and looked up into Leah's eyes. _

_"He doesn't want me anymore, Leah. He's gone."_

_ And she had gone back to crying softly into her pillow. Leah had walked to the kitchen quickly so Bella didn't see the look on her face or hear the words that had tumbled from her lips after Bella's attempt to explain. _

_"That asshole."_

* * *

Those very words returned to Leah's thoughts as she walked towards Edward. She didn't even wait for him to acknowledge what had just occurred. She knew they both realized that they had handled this poorly, and she told him so.

"Edward, I told you that this wasn't a good idea. Now, she's mad at both of us. Why couldn't you wait until I had talked to her some more? You were supposed to wait until I called you. You never listen!" Leah pushed the words at him forcefully.

She hadn't expected him to reply, he was too lost in his own thoughts, too wrapped up in his own regret about Bella's response to his appearance. But still, standing in the middle of the sidewalk in front of the apartment was not going to change Bella's mind.

They needed to fix this, and they needed to do it fast. Leah was completely certain that Bella's mind was turning right now as well, and that did not make the task before them any easier.

"Come on, Edward. I'm sure you haven't eaten since you landed this morning and I'm starving. Let's go grab a bite to eat and come up with a way to get Bella to listen. You know how she is. It's going to take both of us, focused, to make this right," Leah said.

Edward looked up at Leah, his golden eyes searching hers for something. What, she couldn't say. He stared at her for a while, like he was seeing her for the first time and spoke quietly.

"Tell me why you're helping me. Why did you agree to this in the first place? You know her almost as well as I do. You knew how she was going to react and I know how you feel about me. Why?"

Leah blew out a small breath and rolled her eyes. In all honesty, she didn't completely understand herself why she had agreed to help Edward. She had never been a member of the Edward Cullen Fan Club, even though she knew several people on campus who were card carrying members, probably for life. She had always tolerated his presence for the sake of her friendship with Bella.

She didn't really have a good reason either, they just never clicked and that was how it was with Leah. Either you fit, or you didn't. Bella fit, Edward didn't. But, when he had become a permanent part of Bella's life, she had accommodated him as well. It was almost like trying to jam a puzzle piece in the wrong space. You could technically make it fit sometimes, but the picture never looked right.

So, when Edward had removed himself from the picture, she had been over the moon. Of course, she had been devastated for Bella, but she had been silently relieved that she didn't have to pretend anymore.

Maybe it was because Edward came from money and she had paid her way through undergrad and graduate school. Maybe it was because everything had always been handed to him in life and she had known work since she was old enough to find someone who would pay her. Maybe it was because he represented everything she wanted for her future, her future children, but realistically didn't think could ever happen.

Of course, none of these things were great reasons for how she felt about him. Most of it wasn't even his fault, but she was painfully honest about who she was and her opinions. Helping him now, she could see why he would have those questions.

Leah walked over to Edward and stood directly in front of him. Leah was tall, 5' 10", so she didn't have to look up that far when she spoke to him.

"My feelings about you haven't really changed. Shit, I probably dislike you more now for what you did to her. But, she hasn't been herself since you dropped that little bombshell on her a few months ago. "

Edward looked like he wanted to say something, wanted to defend himself but Leah wasn't allowing that. She gave him a look that clearly indicated that she wasn't finished.

"I can't remember the last time I heard her laugh, not from one of her smart ass comments, but _**really **_laugh, Edward. I don't know if I figured she needs closure or hell, if she even wants you back. But, if your conversation with her is going to bring my girl back, then I'm helping you. Besides, I'm your secret weapon right now, Edward."

Edward looked at Leah, confused for a brief moment before he replied. "And why is that Leah, because she'll listen to you, because she trusts you so much?"

Leah smirked. Of course, he would come to the most obvious conclusions. "No, because right now you are the last person Bella wants to see, she almost despises you. And we all know how I feel about you, Edward."

"Leah, if you're trying to make me feel even worse about what happened, you're succeeding. But, I don't understand how this conversation is fixing our problem and I don't understand how that makes you my secret weapon," Edward said shrugging his shoulders.

"It's actually simple, Edward. You know what they say?" Leah looked directly in his eyes as she spoke.

"The enemy of my enemy is my friend."

* * *

_**A/N- So hopefully you get a small glimpse into how Bella got to this point. Don't worry, more is coming and it will be from Edward's thoughts. But, in the next chapter you get to see Jacob and the pack. And learn a few more clues about what Bella really has going on. Any guesses? If you're right, I'll tell you, but things aren't always what they seem. And I'm dancing around her secret right now. Thank you again to everyone who's reading. Take care.**_


	6. What appears to be the end,

_**A/N- As promised, this chapter gives us Bella's first interaction with the pack and the first time she meets Jacob Black. or is it? **_

_**Hope you enjoy it. **_

_**Oh yeah, my girls dragged me to see the stripper movie this weekend, Magic Mike...**_

_**Might have actually given me enough inspiration to write a lemon in the near future. Who knows, lol?**_

_**As always, I do not own Twilight or any of its characters. Though I would love to watch Jacob do a strip scene. **_

* * *

**Chapter 6**

**What appears to be the end,**

**may really be a new beginning**

Bella looked down into her cup; her coffee was almost gone, what remained had become cold an hour ago. She wasn't really feeling another cup. As wired as she already was, drinking more caffeine would only further delay the sleep she would need tonight, the sleep she was desperately praying for so she would not have to cry about Edward. Again.

She shuddered involuntarily at the thought of him. Well, not him really, but at the thought of the situation. Just when she was finally ready to let him go, he wanted to hold on.

She was so conflicted right now. She hadn't admitted to anyone, not even Leah or her father that she was still in love with Edward. Of course, she was sure that they had already realized this. The feelings you develop for someone after being together for two years don't just disappear overnight. In fact, Bella was evidence that they don't disappear after a few _months_. She still loved him, a lot.

The shit just wouldn't go away.

And that was another reason why she had to do something about him. She had to break herself from this tie to him; she felt shackled, held against her will even. Bella couldn't think of any other way to release herself. Sure, people go on and on about forgiveness and maybe one day she could do that. She had experience in forgiving people for unspeakable things.

But the problem was that forgiveness does not translate into forgetting. How was she supposed to get those memories out of her mind? Bella was convinced that she would never be able to open herself to another relationship, if she had to hold onto the memories of how this one had broken her.

Bella would just bide her time, follow her plans, lay her trap. That was the silver lining she had been looking for in this situation. He had come back, just as she had said. So, she was going to change some things about her relationship with Edward. If her memories were about _Edward _being hurt, about the pain _Edward_ was in, she could live with that.

It wasn't like she hadn't been trained on how to be oblivious to the pain of others caused by her hand, especially when they deserved it. She swallowed slowly, thinking that she was sure her dad had felt the same way after her mother had died.

Bella's father had explained to her at a very young age about the consequences of people's action. The whole, for every action there is a reaction thing. It had been a part of every speech she could remember receiving when he had disciplined her growing up. When her mother died, and took so much more from the two of them then just their hearts, he had drilled that concept into her head.

Her mother was dead, there would have to be consequences for whoever caused her death. At the time, she had decided that her father was talking about an investigation into the details of her unexpected illness. She would find out four years later, at the age of 18, that she had been wrong.

Bella was shaken out of her thoughts by the distinct feeling that she was being watched. Assuming that Edward or Leah had actually found her and were going to attempt to talk to her again, Bella steeled herself and looked around.

She would not make a scene here, but she would not talk about anything with the two of them right now. They would have to agree to give her some time to think and they could sit down and talk in the morning.

But, neither Edward nor Leah had followed her, they were not watching her. It was someone else.

Bella carefully scanned the patio where she was sitting, using her peripheral vision so she wasn't being obvious about what she was doing. If something was going to happen, she didn't want to let on immediately that she was on to them. She needed to keep the element of surprise on her side.

He was sitting alone at the table farthest from her, situated in the corner out of her direct eyesight. Bella hadn't noticed him come in, something she mentally chastised herself about. She had let down her guard and that was unacceptable.

He was reading something; from her location it appeared to be a magazine of some sort. She glanced at his face briefly, trying hard not to let her gaze linger. At that moment, he raised his head to look up, almost as if he had known she had turned to look at him.

He met her eyes, nodded toward her and smiled the most beautiful smile she had every seen. It reached all the way up to his eyes, which looked brown from where she was sitting, but she couldn't be completely sure in the light and from her distance. It… caught her off guard.

Whatever Bella was expecting, it had not been that response to her glance. She raised one eyebrow at him and managed a small smile. She couldn't shake the feeling that she knew this man. He seemed vaguely familiar, but she couldn't place him.

"Dammit," she muttered under her breath, looking into her cup of cold coffee. He had snuck up on her, whoever he was. Bella was definitely off her game. Another reason to get her shit together. She was slipping on these small things, and these slips could have far reaching consequences in her future.

Maybe she should go over and talk to him, try to jog her memory about how she knew him. But, Bella made up her mind to just continue watching him. She was curious, but not stupid.

It was getting late and she was alone. She wasn't going to push her luck, if she didn't need to. She looked up from her coffee cup to take another look at him.

But, it was too late. The mystery man was gone.

Glancing around to see if she could track his departure, Bella resigned herself back to her book and her thoughts. She vowed to be more vigilant in keeping an eye on her surroundings, as she went back to her book and tried to enjoy the rest of her evening.

* * *

Two hours later, Bella realized that she needed to get home. There were only a few people at the shop now, one couple out on the patio and two people inside. She had actually allowed herself to relax, letting the events of earlier float around in the back of her mind. She was calm enough to go back now and try to get some sleep.

As she reached down to check the time on her cell phone, she heard laughing and loud talking coming from somewhere down the street. It was that lull in the night for most club goers where they usually leave one place to head to another, to find a fresher scene. Some of them even stopped by the shop sometimes to grab a coffee and a quick snack, before heading to the next stop on their list.

Bella expected the number of people in the shop to increase soon, another cue for her to head home. She just hoped that a taxi didn't take too long to come this way.

As she sat and waited, scanning the streets in both directions, Bella realized that the laughing she had heard earlier was getting louder and closer. She looked up and down the street and saw a small group of guys walking together. Four of them, similar in height and build, they seemed to be having a great time and they sounded completely loaded.

She kept her eyes on the street, glancing between the traffic and her book. Bella thought she had finally spotted a cab coming up the street when she heard the first comment.

"Who goes out to _**read**_ on a Saturday night?" one guy shouted, while his friends laughed at his words.

The words made Bella shift her gaze slightly. They were almost to the patio, and they were talking about her.

"Yeah, she's alone, boyfriend must have been bored as hell with her," another one quipped.

"Damn shame, she's cute. Sexy lips too." The others had muttered their agreements.

Bella smirked at that one. She wasn't going to acknowledge their comments, even if they were funny. Drunk people usually were.

"Hey, bet I can get her to put that book down." It sounded like the guy who had made the initial comment about her reading. She chuckled to herself, seemed he had a definite aversion to books and anyone who used them.

She glanced up to clearly see what she was dealing with and braced for their imminent arrival right beside her table. She stood up and prepared to dismiss them, when a voice stopped her.

"Guys, chill. That's not how you talk to a lady. I know you all have had a few, but cut it out or you'll be sorry at practice. Let's go, so you can walk it off before curfew."

"Awww man! Jacob, we were just messin' around. We couldn't help it. I mean, seriously, who reads anymore… for fun?"

She laughed quietly at that one. So, she had been right. This guy definitely had a problem with books. But, who had stepped in for her? She wasn't used to being rescued; she was used to taking care of things herself. She wanted to be polite and thank him anyway, even if it hadn't been necessary.

She stepped forward and that's when she saw him.

It was the guy from earlier, the guy who had been here previously watching her. She was confused. Was he stalking her? Why was he with these guys now, he had been alone earlier? He was obviously the only sober guy in the group, and what did he mean about practice?

Bella stopped herself. Her first natural reaction to most things was to be suspicious. It was who she was, a result of how her father had taught her to think about things. But, this man didn't deserve her suspicions right now, he still deserved a thanks.

She took another step forward and that's when she got her first good look at him, at all of them. They were nice looking, every last one of them. Tall, dark and handsome didn't even do this group justice.

But the one who had been watching her earlier, he was absolutely gorgeous. There was no other way to say it. The sight of him standing there in front of her, looking down at her expectantly; took her breath away.

He had to be about 6' 7" or taller, with broad shoulders and muscular arms. His entire body was a work of art, built and tight. That was obvious even through his clothing. His hair was black and was cut into kind of a crew cut, but she could imagine him with longer hair. He had dark brown eyes framed in beautiful lashes that warmed your insides. You couldn't look away. His full luscious lips were pulled into that smile he had flashed at her earlier. It was infectious; she found her own mouth curving slightly as she looked up at him.

And he had the most beautiful russet skin Bella had ever seen. It was so smooth and soft, it probably tasted just as good as it looked.

What the hell?

Did she really just think that? Bella was mortified. What was going on with her? She never reacted to people like this. But, she guessed that the events of the day had shaken her more than she thought.

Bella watched his smile grow wider and she bit down on her bottom lip. She realized that she had just looked this man up and down. He had noticed it and he liked it.

She cleared her throat, in order to clear her mind. "Jacob?" she asked tentatively. She remembered one of the other guys calling him that.

He smiled down at her and answered her question in a deep, husky voice. "Yes, that's me. I'm Jacob and these are my friends. This is Quil, Embry and Paul. If I may ask, you are…?"

Quil, Embry and Paul stood behind Jacob expectantly. She tried to place their faces with the comments they had made earlier. Quil had been the one to make the comment about her boyfriend being bored with her. Embry was the one who apparently thought she was cute, with sexy lips. And Paul, Paul was the one who didn't like books, and anyone who read them on the weekend it seemed.

"It's Bella, my name is Bella Swan. And I was coming over to thank you for sticking up for me. I could have handled your friends, but I still appreciate your efforts." It was the best she could manage at the time. He was literally mouthwatering and those eyes…

She was shaken out of her art appreciation, because truly this man was a work of art. The other guys were laughing at her again; she didn't realize she could be this funny. Wondering what she had done now to have them laughing at her expense again, she raised her eyebrow and cocked her head slightly to the side.

He smiled at her again, and at that moment she realized that she really was in trouble here. "Don't mind the guys. They're not used to a woman saying that she could handle them. I hope they didn't offend you; we just like to have a good time. I promise you they have better manners when they're sober," Jacob said, his eyes pleading with hers for acceptance of his explanation. She nodded her head to let him know that she was okay, that she understood.

"It was my pleasure to step in though. I'm responsible for these guys for the night; it's my turn to make sure everyone gets back safe. That's why I was here earlier. I think you saw me briefly. Anyway, I come here because it's easier to refrain from drinking if I'm not at the club the entire time," Jacob explained.

Bella simply nodded her head again. Her mind was pretty fuzzy right now and she was afraid of responding in any other way. If she opened her mouth, she might say something completely inappropriate about his body or his lips. She couldn't decide which one she wanted to touch first.

Jacob interrupted her thoughts again. The guys were starting to get loud again; they were restless.

"Look, I have to go, even though I really don't want to. But, I have to get these guys back. I'd love to sit down over coffee sometime and chat. Maybe compare thoughts about the book you were reading, The Count of Monte Cristo. Good read."

Bella was shocked that he had even taken the time to notice the book she was holding. Who was this guy? Was he serious? She tried to concentrate because he was still speaking to her.

"Look me up. I'm a senior at Columbia University, so you can find me in the directory. Don't forget the name, it's Jacob Black. I gotta go. It was such a pleasure to actually speak with you. Be safe." He smiled that incredible smile at her and with that, he was gone. Again.

And this time when he left, she wasn't feeling suspicious. She was feeling something else.

Hopeful.

* * *

_**A/N- still begging for reviews, but this will probably be my last time begging, lol. Apparently, I'm not good at it. The next chapter, as promised, is completely about Edward and from his view point. You're going to learn some more details about what went wrong. Thank you again to everyone who is reading this. **_


	7. To be trusted is a greater compliment

_**A/N- Not going to write a long note this time. But I do want to thank AmeryMarie for her reviews. I'm always thankful for the feedback and can't wait to see if your ideas are right later on. Oh yeah, this is rated M for a reason, hope the language doesn't offend anyone.  
**_

**_I do not own Twilight or any of its characters. I'm too tired to come up with a reason why I should._  
**

* * *

**Chapter 7**

**To be trusted is a greater compliment **

**than to be loved**

Edward was standing at the window of his hotel room, looking out over Fifth Avenue. The view was stunning, especially under the night sky. But, it definitely was not doing anything to improve his mood at the moment.

After his dinner with Leah, he had contemplated going to the rooftop for a drink, to calm his nerves and clear his head. It was one of the highlights of the Peninsula, their rooftop bar. Seemed a shame not to take advantage of it during his stay. But, he had decided against it and came straight back to his room. He didn't think being on anyone's roof right now was such a good idea.

He had fucked up.

There was no other way to put it and while normally he wouldn't have been so crass about it; he couldn't sugarcoat this. Bella hadn't wanted to talk to him, had barely looked at him, had even told him to go to hell. She didn't have to worry about that last part. He was already there.

His own personal hell, one he created because this situation was entirely his fault. From start to finish, he had known what he was doing, known where this was going to lead and he hadn't done anything to change the outcome.

Bella was absolutely right to be this angry with him, never want to see him again. He cringed inwardly at the thought of all the pain she had been in the last few months. Leah had done the honors of describing what Bella had been through after the break up and he had almost broken down in the middle of the restaurant.

For what he did, he understood that he didn't deserve another chance with Bella. But, he still wanted that chance, still wanted her. No matter what.

Edward looked over at the bracelet lying on the table; the bracelet he had given Bella for Christmas last year from Tiffany & Co. It had been different for her, the cuff bracelet with the full heart made of sterling silver.

She had remarked that it felt like she would be wearing her heart on her sleeve, literally. He had laughed, but had to actually beg her to keep the gift. "You already have my heart," he had conceded and that had tipped the scale in his favor.

Of course, what she accepted had been nothing compared to what he had wanted to give her, what she deserved. He had scoffed inwardly when he purchased the bracelet, at the thought of silver and not platinum for _his_ woman. Like money was any cause for concern in his life.

But, she only wore silver and would have never accepted the platinum version; no matter how similar the two looked, she had declared to his argument.

And when she had seen the engraving, seen what he had bribed the store to etch into the middle of the heart on the bracelet (It was Tiffany's after all and they typically only did three letter engravings); she had cried. She had shown genuine emotion to Edward about her feelings for him, had allowed that last brick surrounding her heart to crumble.

The gesture had been that important, that sentimental to them and to their relationship. The bracelet read "não importa o que,"in Portuguese, a phrase she had learned on their summer trip to Portugal.

No matter what.

The bracelet was nothing when he really thought about it, especially because even then he knew what was going to happen. Even when he had those words engraved, he knew the betrayal that was coming. Even when she cried and clung to him thanking him for a gift so beautiful and thoughtful, he knew that in a few months he was going to break her heart. And even when she had whispered how much she loved him over and over again while they made love in front of the fireplace, he knew that he was getting ready to tear them apart.

He had known then, what was coming around the corner but couldn't look away. It was like watching a train wreck. There was nothing he could do to stop it. Because, he had made a deal, he had made a promise.

And he couldn't go back on it.

He ran his fingers through his hair, pinched the bridge of his nose with his fingers and closed his eyes. Things were so complicated right now. Complicated wasn't usually a problem for him; he had maneuvered through deal after deal, meeting after meeting at his father's company that most other employees had deemed too complicated.

But, this wasn't business. This was personal, this was his life, and this was potentially too risky for him to figure out alone. His father Carlisle had been no help. "I warned you about the consequences of this," Carlisle had said. Edward had been annoyed by the idea of his father trying to give a lecture about something so important. Like _his_ hands were clean in this. That was the main reason he had contacted Leah after Bella wouldn't take his calls.

Leah Clearwater

That woman pulled no punches, and he was fine with that. He had needed to know just what he was dealing with, and Leah had given him every little detail when she described what Bella had been through. He would never forgive himself for what he had done and he was ready to spend the rest of his life making it up to Bella, proving himself to her again, proving that she could trust him again. If Bella let him.

So, Leah had laid it all on the table.

* * *

"Edward, I have to tell you what you're up against here man. It's not just the fact that you broke up with her. Bella's been through break ups before. She wouldn't have given you another thought, if it was just that." Leah told him.

"The thing is, she let you in, told you things that she doesn't share, told you things that I don't even know. She trusted you, Edward. She trusted you with her secrets, with her pain, with her body, with her heart. Do I really need to remind you of all of this?" Leah asked.

No, she didn't. Not at all. Edward didn't need any reminding of everything he had taken from Bella.

"So betraying her the way you did, allowing your relationship to continue for so long, when you had already made that promise to your father… I don't know how you're going to convince Bella that things have changed. That's the real problem. Because right now, she's not going to trust one fucking word that comes out of your mouth," Leah went on.

"In a way, you should have just continued to be the man you were before you started seeing her. She would have expected this shit from him. You might even have had a chance to win her over. But, once you told her you loved her and took her virginity… what the fuck Edward? I'm getting angry with you just thinking about it!" Leah conceded.

And he had to admit, that Leah was absolutely correct in her assessment.

Before Edward had started seeing Bella, he had been the proverbial ladies man. Since his freshman year in undergrad, he had never been with a woman for longer than six months. He would meet a woman and spend just enough time to get to know her. He would spoil them, let them accompany him to business events, party with them and then break up with them. It was that simple.

He had always consoled himself with the fact that he told these women from the beginning that he was not interested in a relationship, nothing serious. Of course, some of them fell for him anyway. There were always a few that thought they could change his mind. And for his part, he let them try, even if his heart really wasn't in it. Oh, he was all about having his cake and eating it too, especially if the cake was being offered after he had already mentioned he didn't want dessert.

But, in his mind, it wasn't his fault; they had been warned. He wanted to give more, because he knew he was capable of giving more to a woman. But Edward knew even during his freshmen year the promise that had been made, and as a result he was very meticulous about his personal life.

Until Bella. She was his monkey wrench.

He groaned inwardly at how stupid he had been in all of this. He couldn't see a way to make this right. He wasn't going to panic. He didn't want to show Leah how desperate he really was to have Bella back in his life. But at this point, he was willing to do just about anything.

"Edward," Leah spoke quietly. "You do have something working for you though. I don't want to get your hopes up too high, but there is one thing I'm sure of. Bella's still in love with you. She doesn't want to admit it, to me, to her father, not even to herself. But, she is, and if she still loves you; then you still have a chance."

Leah's words washed over Edward like a tidal wave, erasing some of the panic he had felt earlier. Again, she was right. If Bella still loved him, then he still had a chance. His wheels were turning even as Leah continued to talk. He had some ideas about how he could prove to Bella that he was serious.

"Edward, the first thing we have to do is get her to agree to talk to you. I'll go with you, but I think the conversation should be between the two of you. This is your journey; the two of you need to figure it out together, without my opinion. I will only stay if she asks me to, but I don't see that happening. You know how she is." Leah looked at Edward and he nodded in agreement.

"Besides, she's going to be pissed at me for helping you. I need to give her some space to work through that and she'll talk to me when she's ready. So, after I get her to talk to you, my role is done. We can go back to being enemies," Leah said sarcastically.

"Leah, I can't thank you enough for your help. If this works, if she takes me back… I owe you, big time. And I promise to let her know that I worried the crap out of you until you helped me. That way she might take it easy on you when you two talk."Edward spoke quickly but passionately. He was thankful to Leah for her help, whatever her real reasons were, because he would be screwed if it wasn't for her, and he knew it.

Leah looked at Edward, shaking her head slightly as she spoke. "It's okay, you're welcome and I don't need you to put in a good word for me with Bella. I can handle her, no matter what she says to the contrary. I don't know how this is going to work out for you Edward, but I do know this. If you hurt my girl again, I won't even think twice about coming to find you Edward. I will hurt you. And that's a promise."

And they both knew without having to say another word, that Edward could trust Leah on that one.

* * *

_**A/N- Hope you enjoyed it. The next chapter is a good one, at least I think so. Edward's really got his work cut out for him and we definitely have not seen the last of Jacob Black. Thanks for reading. Take care.**_


	8. A thought, even a possibility

_**A/N- This chapter is shorter than the others and its a little different, but its completely necessary. I wouldn't call it a filler. In fact, the upcoming chapter 9 was originally a part of this one, but it proved to be waaaayyy too long for my taste. So I split it. It's not a complete waste, I promise. It's just a little more insight into this Bella and it prepares you for some major revelations in the next chapter. I also dropped a few clues in here about Bella's secret and some future story plots. **_

**AmeryMarie**_**, thank you for your reviews. I appreciate it sooo much. **_

_** Hope you all enjoy.**_

**_As usual, I do not own Twilight or any of its character. The way I'm writing Bella should be proof enough of that._  
**

* * *

**Chapter 8**

**A thought, even a possibility, **

**can shatter and transform us.**

It was Monday, and just because of that alone, she usually woke up in a bad mood. Mondays just weren't her thing. Maybe it was the realization that the weekend was gone, responsibility and reality left in its wake. Or maybe it was because Mondays were a beginning, and she was more comfortable with endings. It had always been easier to walk away from things then it was to begin all over again; to start from scratch, to be the new person, to figure everything out again.

Nope, she was not a fan of Mondays. But this Monday, Bella woke up completely stunned. She had actually slept, slept the entire night without waking up one time. And while this may not have meant much to most people, when you haven't gotten a full night of sleep in almost three months, it was a big fucking deal.

Bella had trained herself to operate on as little sleep as possible; college life almost demanded that sacrifice. But lately, she hadn't really been sleeping at all. She had spent more nights than she cared to admit curled up in her corner reading until her eyes were burning and heavy, screaming for some type of relief.

That relief would not come, it would hold out on her until the daylight began peeking through the blinds and the birds outside made their presence known with their morning calls. And then she would try to give in to the sleep for a couple of hours before she forced herself to get up and complete her morning routine of coffee, the news, and daily workout.

Oh, she had spent a lot of those nights crying about the hurt, and on those nights she desperately craved the rest, begged for it even in hopes that the sleep might provide some kind of reprieve. But she had figured out pretty early that there were two sides to that sword. While she needed sleep in order to concentrate and function properly, sleeping brought a different kind of agony; she didn't want to close her eyes and see him.

She didn't want to remember how good it had been with him. She didn't want to fall asleep and dream about what they had, what could have been, to only wake up and realize that it was all over. It was sad really, the idea of remembering the possibilities of a now impossible situation.

But all that had changed when she went to bed on Sunday night, because she had realized that the events of the weekend had opened up a whole new world of possibilities for her.

Sunday had led to a phone call from Leah, as Bella had assumed. There was no apology, not that one was even expected at this point. Bella knew that Leah was convinced that interfering was for the best, that the intention was good. So, there would be no apology right now, if at all.

In fact, if things worked out in Leah's favor there would be a resounding "I told you so," followed by "I was only trying to help." How many times in her ten year friendship with Leah had she heard those words? After all this, no matter how things turned out, it would be one time too many for Bella.

Leah had stated her case, or Edward's case, and tried to persuade Bella to meet with them to talk. The conversation hadn't actually taken long because Bella had decided during her workout that she did need to talk to Edward. And Leah wasn't stupid. She was not going to push her luck any further with Bella than necessary.

So, Bella agreed to call Edward. After all, this was the opening she was looking for to hatch her plan, there was no point in dragging this out. The sooner she did what she needed to do with Edward, the sooner she could **completely** move on.

Edward had answered the phone on the second ring, immediately thanking her for talking to him before she could get a single word out of her mouth. He had been soft spoken while they were talking, regret woven throughout his tone like a spider web. And while Bella became slightly reminiscent when he was speaking, she would not be drawn in this time. She was finally focused on the path that lay ahead.

She had denied his plea to meet with her on Sunday. And he had been disappointed, but he understood. Bella had explained that she needed to prepare for her classes on Monday, needed to get her materials together.

As a part of her fellowship, Bella would be the assistant instructor for an undergrad business class. She would be handling most of the lectures and exams for one of her favorite professors and she wanted to excel. Not that she would need the recommendation for her future line of work, but she needed to gauge her ability to teach others. The majority of the students would be juniors and seniors, a good population to test her with, and she needed to be on top of her stuff.

Bella had agreed to meet Edward and Leah Monday afternoon, at Morningside Park near the lake. Around 4 pm was the agreement, that way she would be done with her classes, her instruction, and she would still have time to get home and change into something more comfortable for the meeting.

She wasn't sure how she would feel once she had to actually spend time with Edward, had to look into his eyes and see that smile. But she had been confident that nothing he said would change her mind about things.

So, she had spent the rest of Sunday relaxing, preparing for her classes, reading over some information her father had sent her and actually using the kitchen in her apartment for more than just fixing coffee. Yep, she had started to feel like herself again.

There had just been one thing….

She hadn't been able to stop thinking about Jacob Black. But not in the way that most women probably couldn't stop thinking about him, because there was so much about him that was so damn unforgettable.

No, she couldn't shake this lingering thought in the back of her mind that he was familiar to her. She couldn't place him, couldn't put her finger on it, but she was absolutely certain that she had seen Jacob before. That weighed on her a little, ran through her head like the refrain of a song you couldn't get out, repeating itself over and over again.

_You know him from somewhere, you know him from somewhere, you know him from somewhere…_

And while she had initially pushed her suspicions aside when she saw him at the Pastry Shop, she would not deny her instincts this time. She had gone to sleep on Sunday night thinking that the last time she had denied her instincts, her heart had been shattered. That would not happen again.

So, she had gotten up on Monday, stunned but rested. Ready for Monday for the first time that she could remember.

How wrong she was.

* * *

A/N- So yeah, just preparing you for the next piece of the puzzle. Will be posting the next chapter on tomorrow. I won't make you wait too long to find out what the big deal is between Bella and Edward... and its a doozie. Thank you for reading.


	9. Memories are what warm you up

_**A/N- As promised here's my labor of love, chapter 9. My laptop froze up on me twice. Not sure if you've ever seen a grown woman scream at a computer to "give it back," but yeah complete labor of love. There's A LOT in this chapter. Some more hints, some more Jacob, some more Edward and the big revelation about Bella and Edward. I hope you enjoy it.  
**_

_**(Oh yeah, I apologize for any errors and typos. I was worn out after the battle with my computer.)  
**_

**_I do not own Twilight or any of its characters. But, it might be time for me to own a new laptop._  
**

* * *

**Chapter 9**

**Memories are what warm you up from the inside.**

**But they're also what tear you apart.**

The morning gave way to two completely uneventful classes full of long lectures about expectations for the semester, book lists, term projects and the class syllabus; the usual first day time wasting nonsense. Bella was thrilled to be heading into a classroom at 12 pm where she had some control over what was going to occur. She had vowed to herself that she would only hold her students long enough to get their basic info, pass out the necessary paperwork and answer any questions. She was sure that their time was just as precious as hers.

The first class had gone off without a hitch. The students actually seemed interested in Strategy Formulation, which left Bella in a particularly good mood as she waited on the students for her second class. She was gathering her paperwork, arranging the materials she needed to distribute when she heard a familiar voice that made her pause.

"Well, well, well… if it isn't the bookworm. I bet there are five different books required for this class."

Her mouth raised into a small smirk as she thought that there was no way the world could be this small. She turned her head to look in the direction of the remark she had just heard and she laid eyes on the four men she had run into on Saturday. And in the front looking at her with mischief in his eyes, was Jacob Black.

"See, just like I said last weekend; you can probably learn something from her, Paul. Looks like we all will," Jacob said as he flashed that smile at her. Her heart faltered a minute as she took them all in again. They were even more gorgeous during the day, mouthwatering even. But there were absolutely no words to describe Jacob in his dark blue jeans that hung slightly off his waist and the white v-neck shirt that hugged his arms and complemented his russet skin. She was almost speechless… almost. But that refrain surfaced in her mind again.

_You know him from somewhere, you know him from somewhere, you know him from somewhere…_

Bella raised an eyebrow, "I'm starting to think you're stalking me, Mr. Black." He looked at her, that smile getting even bigger as he replied, "Oh believe me, when I'm after you, you'll know." Jacob winked at her and pushed the group to their seats for the class to start.

And even as Bella composed herself and prepared to begin the class, she couldn't help but remember the words he had just spoken. He hadn't said _**if**_, he had said _**when**_.

_**When.**_

She was able to get through the class and dismissed all the students until Wednesday. As she was gathering her things to go, it hadn't escaped her attention that Jacob and his friends were some of the last students to get up to leave. As she braced herself for another round of teasing, she noticed the other students patting the guys on the backs, asking about the season, wishing them luck. Things about these men had finally started to make sense to her; the dots were connecting in her mind, when he spoke again.

"So, Ms. Isabella Swan is it? Not just Bella? How are you? Glad to see you made it home safe last weekend."

Bella realized that she and Jacob were alone now; his friends had slipped out amongst the other students asking questions about the first game. The thought of being alone with him both excited her and made her hesitate at the same time. She wasn't blind to the confidence that he exuded, his sensuality literally oozing out of every pore; but she wasn't stupid either. She didn't know this man, so she still needed to be careful.

"I could say the same to you Jacob. It's nice to know you and your friends made it back to your rooms in one piece. Though I'm sure no one would have been dumb enough to try and take you guys on. The four of you are quite a sight together." Bella laughed as she talked to him.

"So, I heard a few people wishing you guys luck and talking about the game. I know I'm being kinda nosey but… who are you?" Bella laughed again. She realized how easy it was to talk to him, how comfortable his presence made her feel. It was nice to genuinely laugh about something again.

His eyes sparkled as he watched her. "Well, I guess you don't watch sports, at least not at Columbia. I'm the starting quarterback for the football team, the guy with number 11 on his back. You know, the one who throws the ball to everyone else and tries not to get killed in the process. That's me."

Actually, Bella was a sports fan herself. She had been an avid football and baseball fan, watching and attending games with her father when she was growing up. When she had started dating Edward, he had been more interested in "games of the mind" as he called them. So, she had been forced to watch endless hours of him playing golf, tennis, and polo. That last one had bored her to tears on several occasions; the horses had been more interesting to watch. She sighed inwardly; this conversation reminded her of one more thing she had sacrificed for her relationship with Edward.

"Jacob, I do like football. But, I hate to admit this. I've never been to a football game here. I didn't even know the team was any good." She cringed as she watched him for a reaction. And she was pleasantly surprised when his face lit up with a huge grin.

"Ouch! I know we're not the best team in the country, but we did pretty well last year. They're expecting big things from the team this season," he said as he laughed.

Bella thought of a _few_ big things people might probably expect from Jacob and his friends, but she had to shake those thoughts out of her mind when she realized he was still talking.

"Bella? I would still like to take you for that cup of coffee. I think it might be fun to pick your brain a little; see what's really going on up there."

As he waited for her reply, Bella could feel herself tense involuntarily. She was not interested in pursuing anything with anybody right now. She had to resolve this situation with Edward and her heart was safely encased behind that brick wall again. Not even a wrecking ball could get through there right now. She looked up at him, ready to dismiss him and his offer when he stopped her before she could begin.

"Bella, I'm not asking you to marry me. I'm not even really asking you out," his eyes smoldered as he spoke. "I meant it when I said that I just wanted to talk. Your choice of Saturday night entertainment intrigued me. And it is a good read." He paused, waiting for her to say something. But she was still gathering her thoughts from his statement that he was not asking her out.

Jacob continued, "I just want to talk to somebody about something other than sports and the latest party, for a change. Besides, I don't date during the season. And since that happens about six months out of the year, I'm single. A lot. I just want to talk, I promise."

Bella had shifted her gaze to the floor and taken a small step back at his mention of a six month plan. The similarities hit a little too close to home for her. Jacob had noticed, she could feel him watching her, waiting. But, he didn't comment.

"Let me think about it Jacob and I'll get back with you on Wednesday after class," she answered quietly.

"That's cool. But just so you know, my schedule is typically full Tuesday through Saturday with classes, practices, meetings, and traveling. I'm free on Sunday, so if you're up for it, I can meet you then. We can even go back to the Pastry Shop, so you'll be somewhere you feel comfortable." He smiled warmly at her, realizing that something during their conversation had triggered a withdrawal in her. He was disappointed; she had seemed so comfortable with him earlier. But, he wasn't going to push her any further. He really did want to see her again.

"Well, I've taken up enough of your time. I'm sure you have somewhere else you need to be and I need to go check on those knuckle heads. It doesn't take long for them to get into something. I'll see you on Wednesday, Ms. Swan. Take care." And with that, he smiled, turned and walked out the door.

As she headed out on her way home to get ready for her talk with Edward, she realized that football was probably where she recognized Jacob from. Although she had never been to a game, she was sure he had been interviewed in the paper or on television before. She had probably seen his face that way. It made complete sense to her. But, even as she was trying to convince herself, something else about this man lingered in the back of her mind. But, she pushed it aside. She had to focus for her conversation with Edward.

* * *

Bella arrived at the park thirty minutes early. She wanted to scope out her surroundings and have the chance to mentally prepare for their talk. She knew Edward was going to be early himself; he was just that way. She sat on her favorite bench watching the people walk by, when she saw the two of them out the corner of her eye. Bella continued to people watch, pretending that she hadn't already noticed their presence; until they were standing in front of her. Then, and only then, did she turn her head to acknowledge them.

Edward was staring at Bella, eyes pleading for some type of emotion on her part. He wanted to reach out to her, caress her and hold her in his arms; but he could tell she wasn't ready for that. Bella motioned for him to sit down and he recognized that he would have to settle for sitting beside her for now. At this point, anything was better than what had happened on Saturday.

Leah turned to Bella, "Do you need me to stay while the two of you talk?" Bella raised her eyebrow in response. Leah laughed to herself, she hadn't expected anything less from her friend.

"I didn't think so. Edward, you're on your own now. I got you to the table. If you can't close the deal, it's your fault. Bella, we'll talk," Leah said as she turned to leave.

"Oh, you bet we will," Bella conceded and shifted her attention to Edward. Leah's day was coming, but today was not that day.

"So, Edward why are you here? Why are you really here? What has changed in three months that brought you back? You didn't fight for me then, why now?" Bella's tone was calm, she had her emotions under control but she could feel them bubbling to the surface. Not anger, no she had expressed that quite well the first time. This time, the hurt of his rejection, the pain of his betrayal was rising within her. She couldn't imagine what he could possibly say to make this right, to erase her sufferings from the last three months.

Edward could see the hurt in her eyes, but she was holding it under the surface. He had always loved that about her; her strength, her confidence. He knew that he had damaged those things in some way with his actions, and he hated himself for it. Even as he watched her battling with the sob that threatened to escape from her lips, he hated himself. But he couldn't stop himself. He was so used to comforting her in the past that he couldn't hold himself back now.

Edward gently traced his fingertips across Bella's cheek. Brushing his thumb under her right eye, he silently acknowledged the tear that threatened to spill from it at any minute. Her eyes widened as she realized he was trying to comfort her, but Edward moved closer before she could pull away.

He raised his other hand, caressed her cheeks with each thumb, and held her gaze. The tears pooled in her eyes. She wasn't going to be able to hold them back much longer. The realization caused her to take a small gasp of air inwardly. And with that small breath, Edward pressed his lips to hers.

He almost drowned in her scent, the memories of it pushing him forward with a force he couldn't contain. He had to take her pain away somehow, had to try and mute what he had caused. Her lips were as soft as he remembered, like brushing against satin. Full and yielding, he had spent so many days tasting and pulling on them until they were swollen.

He had proceeded slowly, not wanting to make the wrong move and send her racing away from him. Nibbling gently on her lower lip, he pushed his tongue forward slightly for entrance, its tip asking for permission to enter. Another small breath had escaped from her and he plunged further, carefully.

She had closed her eyes and the tears she had been holding back overflowed and fell down her cheeks. He tasted her sorrow, tasted some of the sadness she had been holding inside of her for the last three months and he tried to take some of it away with every probe. With each gentle stroke of his tongue, he tried to remove her torment. And she had let him.

Edward realized that Bella was responding to him. She had leaned into his kiss, placed her hands on his thighs. The tears continued to fall, but she did not pull away. He was lost in her; lost in the softness of her lips, lost in the sweetness of her taste, lost in the feel of her skin beneath his fingertips.

And she was lost in him, lost in the man who had given her so much;her first piece of jewelry from Tiffany's,her first confidant, her first and only sexual partner, her first real love… and her first broken heart.

The thought rippled through her like someone had thrown a bucket of cold water on her. She pushed back from him, blinking her eyes repeatedly. Their eyes locked; hers watery and sad, his full of regret, and the memories washed over them both from that night.

* * *

_It was one week after Edward's graduation from Columbia. He had completed his MBA at the top of his class and was looking forward to officially working for his father's company. Bella was in a state of transition herself. _

_She had completed her second year of her Masters program and was in the process of finding a new place. Since she never lived in one apartment for longer than 12 months; it was time to find something else. When Edward had suggested dinner because he had something important to tell her, she had immediately assumed that he wanted to live together. _

_He had taken her to the newest restaurant in the city, the name a vague memory in light of everything that had occurred that night. They had talked and laughed, enjoying the evening, and as they finished their meals Edward had indicated that he needed to talk to her._

_Edward remembered how beautiful Bella had been that night, the sparkle in her eyes when she laughed, the blush in her cheeks when she talked about celebrating later. She had been breathtaking. He decided that the best approach would be like removing a band-aid; give it to her all at one time, so it would only hurt once._

"_Bella, Carlisle has offered me a position at his company and I've accepted, of course. I'm moving back to Chicago to work beside him."_

_She blinked, she was confused. She knew the company had offices in New York. Why would he move all the way back to Chicago to work for his father? They had talked about this. What was going on?_

"_So, what does that mean for us Edward?" Bella asked tentatively. She was afraid to hear the answer, afraid of the power that answer could hold over her._

_Edward paused as he noticed the confusion in her eyes. He had to keep going, he had told himself. He had to tell her. He had kept this from her long enough. _

"_Bella, I leave this weekend. It means that there can be no more us. There can be no more of our relationship," he said softly._

_There was no way she had heard him correctly. Sure, long distance relationships were hard, but she could handle it for another year. Traveling frequently was nothing new to her life. She could deal with it, especially for him._

"_Edward, I don't understand. A long distance relationship isn't ideal but we can make it work. If anybody can do it, we can. You know that." Bella's voice had been low, barely above a whisper. _

_Bella remembered the restraint on his face, the thin line of his lips as he prepared to alter her life forever, the tears he dared to have in his eyes. She would never forget his face as he uttered the words that played in her mind night after night for months. _

"_Bella, I made a promise and it's time for me to fulfill that promise. We can't be together anymore because I'm engaged to someone else."_

* * *

_**A/N- So, did that live up to your expectations? Were you expecting something else? Guess what, there's more, lol! There's more to that night and what Edward revealed. Sorry to leave you on a bit of a cliffhanger, but you'll find out more soon. And has anyone guessed what Bella's secret is? Hopefully the kiss was okay, my first time. Review and let me know your thoughts. Not begging, just curious now about what you think. As always, thank you for reading and take care.**  
_


	10. We are free to choose our paths

_**A/N- Let me apologize before you begin, this entire chapter is a flashback. I know some people don't like them, but it was necessary. So, you find out some more of Edward's revelation. Like I said, it's a doozie. And I need to remind everyone that this is not Meyer's Bella... not even close. This Bella has a little spunk, and an anger issue, lol. **_

_**This fic is rated M for a reason people, strong language ahead.  
**_

_** Hope you enjoy.  
**_

_**I do not own Twilight or any of its characters. But they are so fun to play with and to make them say what I want.  
**_

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**Chapter 10**

**We are free to choose our paths,**

**but we can't choose the consequences that come with them.**

_Silence_

_For several minutes that's all there was between the two of them. No words, no sounds, just silence._

_And it made sense to Bella because there were no words to describe what had just happened, what she had just heard. Bella's thoughts were running through her head so fast, tacking off reason after reason that she had not heard what she thought she had just heard._

_They had talked about their futures, the things they wanted, the things they didn't want, their deepest desires and fantasies, they had even talked about having children; a subject she never discussed, with anyone. They had traveled together, celebrated holidays and milestones, she had met his family, spent time with his younger sister Alice, seen his baby pictures for god's sake. None of that translated to what he had just said to her._

**_"I'm engaged to someone else."_**

_She was faintly aware of a sound slowly overtaking the silence she was embracing. He was calling her name, trying to get her to say something. Bella looked down at her bracelet._

_No matter what…. No matter what…_

_Yeah, guess that shit didn't apply anymore. As she rotated the bracelet around her left wrist over and over again, she tried to focus. She needed some answers right now, so she squashed all the shock and hurt she was feeling deep down within her. She would deal with that later._

_Bella looked at Edward, studied his face for a trace of sympathy, pain, any type of remorse whatsoever. He looked worried, hesitant even for this conversation to continue, but he did not look sorry. Oh, his eyes had watered earlier, but that glimpse of emotion had disappeared._

_"How long?"_

_Edward blinked, like he was confused. How did he have the nerve to be confused right now, she thought to herself. How was anything about that question a surprise? Of course, she would ask him questions, that question._

_"How long Edward, how long have you been engaged? It's a simple question, really. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to answer that one. It's not a complicated question, and I think I deserve an answer," Bella explained. She realized that her emotions had now morphed into something else. Anger._

_"Actually, it is complicated Bella. That's the problem. But you're right, you deserve an answer. Officially, I've been engaged for a week. It happened last Saturday." Edward paused, looking at Bella for her reaction, waiting for the realization of what he had just said to sink in._

_Bella's mind reeled. Last Saturday had been Edward's graduation ceremony. They had been together almost the entire day. She had sat with his family, met Carlisle's business partners and the friends from Alaska who had all traveled to witness Edward's ceremony. The only time Edward had been out of her sight was when he had disappeared with Carlisle for about two hours right after the ceremony. The "Cullen man to man talk" Carlisle had called it. Bella looked up at Edward. "Your father," she whispered in understanding._

_Edward had returned from that talk subdued, a little distant even; but she had chalked it up to his normal reaction to being around Carlisle. Edward lived to please that man. He would do anything for Carlisle, sacrifice anything for him, jump in front of a bullet if he had to, do whatever was asked of him. Apparently, even this._

_But, Bella thought about it. Edward had spent the rest of the evening with her, spent the night at her place, and cooked her breakfast the next morning. He had never mentioned another woman and if he had been engaged on that day, why had he stayed? Her emotions were vacillating between confusion and anger. She wanted to ask more questions, get the information she needed. But she also wanted to throw her drink in his face and storm off. She hesitated. Information was always important first, her anger could wait._

_"Who is she? Do I know her?"_

_Edward closed his eyes. It was harder than he had ever imagined to look at her right now, sense the hurt in her heart, see the anger on her face. She didn't deserve this. He loved her, truly loved her; but he knew she was never going to really understand all of this. Hell, there were parts of this that he was still wrapping his mind around. But, he had promised Carlisle that he would take care of this situation as soon as possible. His time had run out and he couldn't stall anymore. He had no choice. The sooner he answered all her questions, the sooner he could try to make peace with himself about what he was doing. What he had done._

_Edward slowly opened his eyes. "You don't really know her Bella, but you did meet her at graduation, she was there with her family, the Denalis. I'm engaged to Tanya. When everyone went back to their rooms to change for dinner, Carlisle took me to their suite. And I proposed to her there. We'll pick out her ring when I go back to Chicago. "_

_Bella's eyes widened at that admission. She remembered Tanya vaguely. Tall, blond, shapely and drop dead gorgeous, yeah she remembered her. They hadn't said much to each other at the ceremony or even at the dinner later that afternoon. She couldn't recall any interaction between Tanya and Edward other than the initial greeting and hug that he had given everyone that had come. They certainly hadn't acted like they had a romantic relationship. Sure, they could have been hiding their feelings, but she doubted that. It didn't make sense. Where had all this come from? He wasn't saying something, she could feel it. He was leaving an important fact out of this explanation and she desperately needed to know what it was._

_"What's missing from this story, Edward? You and Tanya barely even spoke last Saturday. I'm supposed to believe that you proposed to her on the same day. It's not adding up. Tell me everything"_

_"Bella, love, my proposal to Tanya was the result of a promise I made to my father. I've known Tanya for a long time, since high school actually. But, we've never dated. Her family and my family are in the process of finally completing a major business deal that would merge the two companies and increase Carlisle's control. It's been taking place in small increments, since my freshman year in college. Tanya was a part of that deal."_

_"Wait, wait a minute. You said you made a promise to your father. What kind of promise, Edward? How was Tanya a part of the deal?"_

_"I promised Carlisle before I went to college that I would follow in his footsteps; help him with his company in whatever way I could. He told me about the business deal, what it would mean for our family and the Denali family. And he told me that when the time came, that I would have to be the one to merge the two families. Through marriage. Carlisle arranged this engagement Bella, he arranged my impending marriage. I didn't have a choice."_

_Bella attempted to process everything, tried to see it from his side, see the choice he had been pushed into, but she couldn't shake one part of his "confession."_

_"So, tell me this Edward. You've known about this since your freshman year in college, six years ago. You knew the entire time we were together that at some point, you were going to leave me… for her. You took me to meet your family, told me repeatedly that you loved me, became my first and only lover and you knew the entire time? Please tell me that you didn't Edward; please tell me that you didn't hurt me intentionally." Bella was pleading with him, begging for this to be a mistake; but she knew the answer before he began to open his mouth again._

_"Bella, I am so sorry, so truly sorry. I never meant to get this serious with you. But once I realized I had fallen for you, it was too late. You meant so much to me, mean so much to me. I couldn't let you go. I know, I know. I was being selfish, but I was hoping that the deal could be completed without me having to make that type of sacrifice. Like I said before, I don't have a choice. You have to believe me, love. I didn't do this with any malicious intent. I'm doing this for my family."_

_She had gripped the table to steady herself; this was not happening right now. Bella screamed within herself to wake up from this nightmare. The man she had fallen head over heels in love with, was not telling her that he was leaving her for someone else. And he was not telling her that he had known about this outcome for six years, for the entire time they had been together._

_"You always have a choice Edward. You could have told Carlisle no. You could have fought for me, fought for us. But you didn't and then you bring me here to tell me what you did, apologize and I'm supposed to do what? Forgive you and promise that we'll be friends, buy you a gift and come to the wedding? Are you kidding me right now? You took away my choice. Instead of telling me from the beginning and letting me decide if I wanted to continue with this, you decided for me. "_

_Her hands were shaking now, her voice trembling with anger. She was going to fucking lose it in the restaurant, she could feel it. And she knew from the look on Edward's face, he knew it too._

_"Don't worry Edward. I'm not going to do anything right now. You're not worth it. Maybe you thought you were doing me a favor by taking me somewhere nice to break this to me, but at this point you could have just written me a Dear John letter. It would have saved me from having to look into your eyes and realize that you're not who I thought you were. Believe me, nothing would satisfy me more than to break your fucking jaw right now and let you explain that shit to your fiancée with your mouth wired shut. But, that action would have a consequence that I'm not willing to pay because of you." The tears she was holding back had started to spill from her eyes, making Bella even angrier. She didn't want to give him the satisfaction of seeing how much he had hurt her, betrayed her. She abruptly stood up, grabbing her purse to go before the pain overwhelmed her. She wasn't going to be able to hold it back much longer. She started to walk away, but turned at the last minute to look him in the eyes._

**_"You'll be back. Count on it."_**

_And Bella had walked out the front door, caught a taxi home, and let the sorrow of everything that had just occurred finally overtake her._

* * *

_**A/N- Hope that explains more. Next chapter will be from both of our Twilight hunks, Edward and Jacob. You'll get to see the rest of Edward and Bella's meeting in the park and find out if Bella accepts Jacob's request to meet for coffee. More "revelations" coming up. Remember, everything is not as it seems, with any of these three. Secrets, secrets, secrets... Thank you for reading and take care.**  
_


	11. Most of us do much better

_A/N- So... I know it has been a really long time. And for those of you who are following this, I truly apologize. Life gets in the way so often. And I was struggling with which direction I wanted to take this story. But, I got a much needed kick in the behind from **echo58**, and here is chapter 11, lol. It turned out to be a lot longer than I had originally planned and for all my Jacob lovers... I'm sorry. I had to make his part an entirely different chapter. it was beginning to be too much info in one section. But, don't worry, he's up next. I promise. So thank you to anyone who is reading. I hope this makes sense and yes, more secrets come out in this chapter. _

_As usual, I do not own Twilight or any of its characters. But, they are a little perturbed that I left them hanging for the last two months.  
_

* * *

**Chapter 11**

**Most of us do much better with agreements that we make with others,**

**than with those we make with ourselves.**

They sat there on the bench, staring at each other like two people waiting for high noon at a shootout. Neither one moved, neither one spoke, the emotions of those memories affecting each of them in separate ways. Edward was watching Bella, introspective about the situation he had placed them in. He had replayed that night in his mind over and over recently, finally trying to appreciate how much his initial selfishness had cost both of them.

Bella was trembling slightly; experiencing the hurt of that night again after trying to suppress it for so long was a little overwhelming. She looked down and realized that her hands were still pressed against Edward's chest. Her body tensed with the knowledge of what she had just allowed; how easily she had fallen back into his arms, back into his kiss. This was not the way she had planned for this encounter to happen and she prepared herself to get up.

Edward gently grasped Bella's wrists. He saw the retreat in her eyes and he had to prevent her from acting on it. He had to keep her on the bench, at this park, to make sure that she finally heard everything he needed to tell her.

He gazed at her, watching the last few tears slide down her cheeks. How he wanted to comfort her again. But keeping her in this spot so they could talk superseded any desire he had to wipe her tears away. This conversation was long overdue and he was not going to let her storm away this time.

"Bella, I need you to listen to me. Please. There's so much that you don't know, so much that has happened since that night," he spoke quietly. "You don't owe me anything after all that I've put you through, but I'm begging you to stay here so we can talk."

He watched her face, watched her struggle with the request he had made of her. She closed her eyes, inhaled sharply and pushed out the word he was hoping for.

"Okay."

Edward slowly let go of her wrists, preparing himself for a change of heart from Bella. But, she was true to her word. Her body relaxed slightly and she leaned back against the bench as she opened her eyes. "I'm listening Edward."

Inwardly, Edward breathed a sigh of relief. He was hoping against hope that once she allowed him to explain everything to her, that she might let him back into her life. He had promised himself that if she gave him another chance, he wouldn't fuck it up. But he knew that was where the issue was; she was not going to just _**give**_ him another chance. He was going to have to earn it; every conversation, every moment together, every interaction between the two of them in the future.

She would make him work for it.

Edward began to talk, as Bella watched him carefully. She was weighing his words, dissecting his body language, and analyzing his tone of voice. She was expecting a long story full of regret and anguish, a tale of how he longed for her every day and thought of her as he looked up at the stars every night; in other words, she was expecting a ton of lies.

Edward explained to her that when he first went back to Chicago, he had been the good son and tried to go along with his father's wishes. He had spent time with Tanya trying to get to know her on a more intimate level, determined to create a relationship with her that might grow to be something greater in the future.

Tanya was a nice girl; pretty, smart and giving. But, she wasn't Bella, a fact Edward was reminded of often. During their time together Edward learned that Tanya had actually been interested in him for a long time, so she had not hesitated at all about her part in the merger. Tanya was actually pleased with the thought of being able to help her family and land the man of her dreams all in one swoop.

Tanya's eagerness actually had the opposite effect on Edward. It didn't make the situation easier. In fact, the more Tanya wanted it to work, the more he wanted to run away. She had thrown herself into the details of their impending union, and had inserted herself into his family life by spending enormous amounts of time with his mother and sister.

To say that Tanya had adjusted well to their "agreement," was an understatement.

Glancing over at Bella while he was talking, Edward realized how hard it must be for her to hear him talk about his time with another woman. She was listening, but her lips were pursed and her eyes were tight. He couldn't tell if she was troubled or angry about what he was saying, but he decided to himself that she had every right to be both. The weight of that decision made his words falter; he paused.

Even in the midst of trying to fix as much of this as he could, it dawned on him that he was possibly causing Bella more pain. He was stuck between a rock and a hard place. There was no way he could move forward in any way with her unless he told her the truth, but revealing every detail of the last three months could add more insult to injury.

His hands reflexively clenched into fists and he took a deep breath to still his emotions. He had to keep himself in check. This might be the only chance Bella gave him to explain.

Bella's eyes widened slightly at the sudden pause in Edward's conversation, the change in his posture. She was good at watching people, picking up on subtle body language, reading shifts in emotion. Edward was struggling with something and she realized that she wasn't sure she was really prepared to hear everything that he had to say.

No, she wasn't over him. No, she had no plans of starting a real relationship with him again. No, he didn't know that this was all a part of a bigger plan to make him pay. But, she was positive that her self control would be seriously tested in a few minutes when he finally said whatever it was that he was struggling with. If she overplayed her hand, she would lose control of how this developed.

And she needed to remain three steps ahead of Edward if this was going to end in the vengeance her soul so desperately craved. She had to push him to continue.

No matter what.

"Go on Edward, finish it."

Edward was not surprised by Bella's insistence, her resolve to hear it all. He also knew how good she was at figuring things out and she had figured out that the rest of his explanation was going to be hard to swallow. He had to keep going.

He had made an agreement with himself on the flight to New York that he would be completely forthcoming with Bella about the last three months; that he would be selfless and sacrifice his father's approval to try and balance out the last two years of selfishness in his relationship with Bella. He only hoped that she saw it that way.

Edward explained about the progression of his relationship with Tanya, how he had done everything he could to keep her at a safe distance while trying to keep things as cordial as possible for the merger's sake. And when he had finally decided that he couldn't keep his promise to his father by marrying Tanya, Tanya had taken matters into her own hands.

She had apparently gone to Carlisle and discussed Edward's hesitation with her, woven a tale of neglect and rejection of advances. And Carlisle had pulled out all the stops to make sure that nothing stopped the plan.

He had taken Edward with him to a brief meeting in Seattle, and on their way back in the private jet, Carlisle had revealed that his marriage to Edward's mother Esme had also been arranged. He had met, proposed and married Esme all within the span of three months.

The family business had been around for decades, passed from one first born son to the next. And while wealth was accumulated primarily through new ideas and successful products, apparently the business had increased its holdings over the years by merging with other smaller companies and promising more than just a fair deal.

Edward had been shocked beyond belief. What the hell kind of family had he been born into? The realization of what had been occurring seemed almost parasitic in nature. They were literally attaching themselves to weaker hosts and consuming them, before allowing one part to completely merge with another. Mind reeling from the full ramifications of what he had been told, Edward had stumbled home. And waiting there for him, to comfort him and "show him the light" was Tanya.

Edward paused again to look up at Bella. He was prepared to continue with what had happened, ready to man up and admit how complete his betrayal of Bella had really been. He had agreed to tell her everything and be honest about every detail. But, he was hoping she didn't need him to.

He was devastated to even think about the impact the words "I slept with Tanya" would have on Bella. He saw her face, registered the hurt she was trying to hide beneath her look of contempt. And just as he prepared to just say what needed to be said, he saw her slowly close her eyes and shake her head from side to side. She didn't want to hear him say it either.

So…. He didn't. He explained to her that he had spent the next couple of days after that plane ride avoiding everyone, planning his next move and then he had come to New York. He was determined about trying to put things on the right path but the dread and pain that had landed in the pit of his stomach the night of his last dinner with Bella, had not disappeared.

Instead, it had grown and brought with it something that Edward had never really experienced before; despair. This was not the life he had dreamed about as a child, when all he ever wanted to do was be just like his father. To realize that dream would cost so much, had left Edward at a crossroads.

"And so, here I am. I've told you everything important that has happened since the last time we spoke. I've given you a lot to think about and I don't want to overwhelm you anymore than I already have, but I'm not going anywhere Bella. I made a mistake when I left you last time. I will not make that mistake again." Edward spoke quietly, but his tone was strong and full of confidence as he waited on Bella to respond.

Bella had not been ready to hear that Edward had slept with Tanya. She realized the truth of what had occurred, but having to listen to the details of his betrayal would have been more than she could have handled and she had agreed not to lose control. It would not help her plan in the near future if she had to apologize for punching him in the face.

While there was a part of her that briefly hurt for the pain that Carlisle had caused Edward, she had pulled that shit together with a reminder that Edward had made choices in all of this too. Choices that had cost her so much.

So, she had given him the sign to skip forward and inside she had added this information to the list of ever growing reasons why she had to go through with her plan and why she couldn't trust love. It had betrayed her for the last time. Clutching this thought to her heart and using this reasoning to seal Edward's fate, Bella lifted her eyes to Edward.

It was time.

"So, where are we supposed to go from here?"

* * *

A/N- Sorry to leave things at kind of a cliffhanger, but this was the best place to make a cut and it leaves an opportunity for your mind to roam a little. ( Gosh I'm saying sorry a lot today.) Like I said, Jacob is up next. And there are a few more hints ahead about what Bella has going on. Thank you again for reading. Hope you enjoyed it. Take care.


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